life 101

God forbid that i be anyone but who He is in me
that i place the social status' and hierarchy of popularity and pity above anything Christ has given me or done in me
God forbid that i throw away my pearls to pigs, that i waste any moment i am given in selfish ambition
God forbid that i push sand and pile stones and call them my own;
that talents i am given, emotion that i feel, and love that i have, be wasted on myself

God forgive me that i am a wasted and pitiful creature, brought back from depths so deep that even the cleverest of minds could never go there, but only the richest in grace, in mercy, and in love.


~ As i have been working now over in ellensburg, living alone for the moment, sorting out what will be a 'new' life, i am cruelly reminded at just how deject i really am. all of a sudden, being taken out of the gentle cocoon of GCC where i knew everyone, and they knew me, where anything 'secular' was easily escaped by an overdose of 'niceness' and 'cleanliness,' and safety. i am reminded then, quite rudely in fact that we are not called to stay in the shelter of comfort. i think back to the gospels, where again and again Christ allowed himself to be led by the Holy Spirit into places and situations that were less than comfortable.
i sometimes wonder why it seems that a majority of the people i graduated high school with never looked back at the lives they had 'given to Christ.' it is only now, now that i am living in the 'real world' being around people that drink and smoke excessively, live for pleasure, hate pain, and envy anything they don't' have. it is only now that i finally realize the enormity of our sin. and how easily we fall back into it. but then the amazing part is, grace has covered that darkness, but i would dare to remain hidden, where it's comfortable.
well not any longer. thats been kindly removed. i'm certain now God has said "alright buddy, lets put all that churchin' to work. get moving!"
and so here i am.

stuck 'ere

so for my pre-blog blog text this evening i need to tell you all you need to get with it. i mean write something! for the love...! i don't have a computer at my apartment, so i came to the Ellensburg library, not the coolest place on earth, talked to a library lady for like, 30 minutes trying to get a library card, just so i could log onto one of there pickin' computers, get online, and check out what all y'all people have to say. and i must comment, i'm a little dissappointed. not a word. c'mon slackers, humor me, i know there isn't that much to do over there in auburn that y'all are that busy, and the Lord knows it gets boring over here!

so, after that rather rude start, i was going to tell you all how wonderful it is over here. actually it truly is. probably the most beautiful country around. and i know you are all thinking 'right dude, i've driven through there. ain't nothin' but a bunch of hicks and some grass.' well thats true, there are a lot of hicks, and a lot of grass (both kinds. college town remember...).

so this evening after i got off of work, i jumped over the i-90 and drove across the river, and into true farm country. not little makeshift farms, huge farms. farms that required barns specifically built to hold all their machinery that runs the rest of there farm. and houses that were insanely beautiful. some of these farmers really know what's up.
so i drove through farm country to these hills i'd wanted to climb so i could get a better view of the valley and see what else was around this 'dull place.' i stayed on this particular road for about 15 miles, and came to a canyon that was absolutely awesome.
i'm a rock climber, so i like rocks a lot, but you didn't have to be a geologist to know a beautiful cliff when you saw one. this road continued on up this canyon for some time.
during this whole time i was driving west, into the sunset, (poetic isn't it) so the sun was creating quite the glare on my already bug splattered, muddy collage (sp) of a windshield.
put plainly, it was hard to see out the thing. and me being the nascar fan that i am, couldn't help but push the gas pedal to 50 on this windy piece of 30mph pavement. i continued on like this, rubber necking like a pickin' seattlite on i-5 driving by an accident (only i was looking at cliffs) when all of a sudden my road ran out of pavement. yeah, i must have missed the sign that said 'slow the heck down dude' 'cause i hit this thing going a little faster than would have been recommended, and had one hellofa time keeping my little subaru on the road. i won't tell you everything i saw, 'cause then i'd give away all the local 'secrets' and that really hurts the tourism economy. 'cause e-burg is such a big touristic hideout, let me tell you.
no really, i know that all of you who regularly read my crap would love seeing some of these places. throw some of those stereotypes to the wind.
and for those of you out there in cyberspace just surfing over different blogs, well, i guess you'll just have to see the beauty of ellensburg from the city website.

njoi

josh

my mind has exploded.

well the opportunity to write has made itself available, and so the following is the result.

this i shared with someone yesterday, and thought i'd share with you today.
so right now as my job has it, i work with one other guy, his name is Dustin, he's 26, he's my supervisor, and he doesn't know Christ.
without going into too much detail about him (he isn't really aware that he's being written, or read about by a group of crazy religious folk) lets just leave his description as 'unsaved,' and i'll let you draw your own conclusions. dustin is married, has a baby girl, and is, for the most part, doing very well at his job. i'd rate his quality of life pretty high.
anyway, the whole point to this.
the other day he and i were talking during our break. generally he smokes, i spit seeds, he talks, i nod, sometimes i talk, and he nods. today he was talking. telling me how great marriage was. yes, telling me HOW GREAT MARRIAGE WAS.
i couldn't figure it out.
what do you mean marriage is good, marriage sucks. i mean thats all that i ever seem to hear. its hard, its tough, it takes a lot of work. i almost never hear how marriage is great. it blew my mind!
and the reason this was all such a huge thing for me was that dustin, as i said, is not a Christian.
and i'm sitting there listening to him tell me how great marriage is, and i'm feeling ashamed at having had such an unGodly view of something God created, and said was good.
now i might also ellaborate that dustin didn't say a word about the physical part of marriage. yes SEX, he didn't mention it. he talked mostly about the emotional part of being with someone and how it was just an awesome gift. and yes, he called it a gift.

so here's what i concluded (or am still in the process of concluding). Christ loves us all, number one. he has blessed dustin with a healthy marriage, despite his lack of faith.
Christians need to lighten up. i need to lighten up anyway. i'm not kidding when i say it was probably the first good thing i've hear from a marriage in a long time. and it didn't come from a Christian.
finally, i simply need to trust God. yeah, i'm aware life is hard, don't get me wrong. but God says he has plans to prosper me (in His way, at His time) and that i don't need to worry about it.
God used dustin to teach me a huge lesson. i still can't exactly put my finger on what it is, but if nothing else, the harder part of my heart was lain' open for a few minutes of reconstructive surgery last week, and man i'm feeling better.

till then

josh

dodell...(to become distracted)

hi everyone,
much as i'd like to, i can't take the time to write anything creative, entertaining, relevant, irrelevant (yet still funny) or even remotely intersting...at the moment.
however, i would like to introduce a new member into our bloggin family, mr. david odell (note: when written, david, spoken "dave.") (further note: also answers to "david" regardless of form of communication).

anyway, i wanted to take the time to let you know dave started a blog, and i'm hoping my little announcement will further his resolve for writing on it. my reasons are mostly that, not only is dave incredibly funny, he's an excellent writer. sometimes his stuff even makes sense (despite the fact that duck hunters on a certain unmentioned website are no longer talking to FatLab...thats an inside joke, i apologize).

no thanks needed dave.

peace

check it out http://louderthanabomb.blogspot.com/

ps. dave, what exactly is pastiche?

if time came up short
and today was my end
there are some areas of my life
i'd want to mend

not so much of my wants
so much more Him
the anthem of Christ
salvation from sin

less worry of the 'morrow
more time on today
i think when He did it
He did it that way

maybe money doesn't cut it
education can't help me win
maybe i'd start feeling better out
if i was better in

i suppose 'flow' is wrong
society can't really please
does having more stuff
make a life more at ease?

give up to your own agenda
give in to His
if you really have it figured out
why is your life like it is?
peace

for sale: 1, jacked up soul

so it's been awhile since i wrote anything of any eternal value...most of you could do without my little life updates, and we could all definately go without having to read any of my, for the most part mindless, 'poetry.' so anyway, as promised...

i got all emotional today. not the real girly kind that all us guys get scared of, but just that deep pit of your stomach, i think i'm going to vomit type emotion. it is uncomfortable, to say the least.
and its been awile since i've felt anything like this, and honestly i liked it that way. i mean, who am i to say "i'm never going to have that emotion again," but really, i thought i'd gotten to the point where i was all grown up and that i was a man now and i can drink beers and fart around my grandma. alas, i'm still just an adolescent punk in some respects.
i might add also that it wasn't one of those gentle kind of reminders either, where God comes to you peacefully in a dream about flowers and streams and happy deer and smiling bears and says, 'josh, you're not quite on the right track. here, let me help you back in the right direction,' and he sends you off with a lolly pop and a hug. nope. nothin' like that.
it was more one of those times where you let the baby burn its hand, folow? like, 'ouch dude, that hurts.'
you could say i got checked back into reality. not like i was living in some dream world where everything is about me. or...maybe i was, i dunno. but either way, i 'came to' the realization that this pathetic little planet, wretched as it may be, does not revolve around me. my needs are not first, my wants are not first. my life is not my own. my choices are not my own.
i am not my own.
so its time that i again have a garage sale and start giving back to God piece by piece what belongs to Him.

peace everybody

josh

this and nothing more...

well folks,
its time for me to move...again. i've been here in Lakeland Hills livin' with the guys for 4 months, and now God has provided another avenue in the life of josh.
its a bittersweet thing really.
i'm getting a job that, in most cases, requires not only a college degree, but a whole lot more experience than i have had. for those of you who are unaware of my employment, i will, starting tomorrow, the site supervisor and manager for a 200 home subdivision (ie. we're building houses, and i'm making sure they get built) sounds like a cool title (and it is) but i'm pretty nervous about the whole thing. there's nothing like walking onto a job site and telling a bunch of burly contractors that their new 'boss' is a 21 year old punk with less experience than they have patience, which is a small amount. so no doubt, i will be breaking out of the Christian cocoon of niceness very rapidly, and probably uncomfortably. however, i like to kick some tail too, so i'll try and give them just as much crap as they give me...while at the same time sharing the gospel with them.
i also forgot to mention that this job requires me moving to Ellensburg, WA, home of the heat land of the...wind. yeah, its hot and windy there.
the move is both exciting, and painful. i will miss you all, especially you whom i'm used to seeing on a regular basis, and at the same time i'm ready to meet some knew people. ya know, test the waters of redneckness, see how it feels.

all in all, i have no idea what the heck is going on. i'm quite literally playing this all out day by day. tomorrow is an adventure, and today has been secured. but regardless, our God is the God of all, and i will be taking that message to E-burg with me.

with much love

josh