life 101

God forbid that i be anyone but who He is in me
that i place the social status' and hierarchy of popularity and pity above anything Christ has given me or done in me
God forbid that i throw away my pearls to pigs, that i waste any moment i am given in selfish ambition
God forbid that i push sand and pile stones and call them my own;
that talents i am given, emotion that i feel, and love that i have, be wasted on myself

God forgive me that i am a wasted and pitiful creature, brought back from depths so deep that even the cleverest of minds could never go there, but only the richest in grace, in mercy, and in love.


~ As i have been working now over in ellensburg, living alone for the moment, sorting out what will be a 'new' life, i am cruelly reminded at just how deject i really am. all of a sudden, being taken out of the gentle cocoon of GCC where i knew everyone, and they knew me, where anything 'secular' was easily escaped by an overdose of 'niceness' and 'cleanliness,' and safety. i am reminded then, quite rudely in fact that we are not called to stay in the shelter of comfort. i think back to the gospels, where again and again Christ allowed himself to be led by the Holy Spirit into places and situations that were less than comfortable.
i sometimes wonder why it seems that a majority of the people i graduated high school with never looked back at the lives they had 'given to Christ.' it is only now, now that i am living in the 'real world' being around people that drink and smoke excessively, live for pleasure, hate pain, and envy anything they don't' have. it is only now that i finally realize the enormity of our sin. and how easily we fall back into it. but then the amazing part is, grace has covered that darkness, but i would dare to remain hidden, where it's comfortable.
well not any longer. thats been kindly removed. i'm certain now God has said "alright buddy, lets put all that churchin' to work. get moving!"
and so here i am.