the uncomfortable silence

sometimes the silence God assumes makes my life absolutely miserable. there is nothing so terrible (in my opinion) as feeling disconnected from the Father. this time of silence often leaves me irritable, upset, lost, misguided, and altogether confused. and the most disturbing part is that it seems to be a weekly occurrence in my life. it happens almost every monday morning, leaks into tuesday, and by wednesday i'm so fed up with it, i barely have the energy to deal with a Bible study. but then, for whatever reason, about 10pm wednesday night, i begin to feel slightly refreshed, and by thursday morning i'm back to my normal (or maybe its my 'un-normal') self.
whatever the reason may be, i've no doubt that all Christians face this, and most probably don't even recognize it. that's a bit startling considering we are always supposed to be in commune with God.
the question is, is this absence of the Father just an emotional thing, or is there something deeper. i honestly feel like my salvation is nill during these moments. its terrible. its like winning the lottery, then they tell you it was a mistake; only, this isn't just some chunk of change, this is a lifetime spent, and an eternity that's being 'gambled' on.

i pray that the God of Mercy and Grace would shower us with a confidence and faith so bold and upright that even the crappiest of monday's could not blemish the perfection we have found in Christ.

later

ps. it just occurred to me that today is tuesday, not monday. oh man, this is gonna be a long week. (or a short one) i'm confused.